Our Hawaiian vacation this year turned out much differently than we had planned. Let’s just start with the plane ride over. It’s a long flight at about 5 hours and 20 minutes. The last flight we took Nathan got motion sickness and threw up repeatedly for the last hour. It was miserable and I was determined to never go through that again. So this time I went to the drug store and bought some children’s dramamine. The side effect is that it makes you pretty drowsy but I thought that really wasn’t a big deal since he could just sleep on the plane. I was so very wrong. 4 out of the 5.5 hours we were on the plane was a blood-curdling, thrashing, screaming tantrum. People all over the plane were looking at us and I screamed out “STOP STARING AT US!!! THERE IS NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO!!!” A number of people came over and tried to help by offering Nathan candy and snacks which he immediately threw over the seats. Finally, after three hours of this, Nathan fell asleep for an hour and a half. I thanked god that we were over the worst but the second he woke up the tantrum began again at full force for the last hour of the flight. It was a nightmare that I will never get over. Needless to say I was VERY happy to land and I am sure all the other passengers were too.

The second we were off the plane the tantrum stopped and Nathan was back to normal. Grandma picked us up and we ran some errands before heading over to David’s sister’s house in Kailua, which is where we stay. I was bracing myself for another tantrum once we arrived at Anne’s house thinking that he would want to touch all sorts of things he wasn’t allowed to touch. Thankfully this was not the case. When we arrived at the house all delicate things had been packed up and there was a massive room for us in the back with a huge box of toy animals for Nathan and William. I nearly cried I was so thankful. I am sure a lot of effort went in to child-proofing their home for Nathan and William’s arrival and it was above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The boys immediately began to play and all was well in the world again.

The next day we woke up early from being on pacific time and headed over to Uncle Fred’s house. Nathan is particularly fond of Fred and had a great time visiting him and seeing all his pets. He has chickens, lizards, dogs and turtles among other things. Nathan assumed we were at the zoo and began to ask for leopards and elephant seals after seeing the lizards and chickens. William slept in the car for most of the time but when he woke up, he had a great time chasing Nathan and the dog around. After an hour or two, we packed up and headed to the beach for the rest of the day. We had such a great time that day and William was still in high spirits with no sign of getting sick at all. Things would start to change the next day.

On Wednesday we went to the Honolulu Zoo and ran around for a few hours. William seemed a tad bit tired to me but was still having fun playing. As the day went on however he looked like the heat was getting to him a bit so we went home to relax for the rest of the day. Everything was going well and we put the kids to bed around 10pm (8pm California time). Suddenly around 11pm William woke up very restless and was having a lot of trouble breathing. He wasn’t asthmatic but was rather having a lot of trouble getting air into his lungs. David and I knew not to wait it out because a baby’s airway are so tiny that even a little inflammation can be an emergency. I ran out to tell Anne we were going to the ER for a breathing treatment and she said that she would make sure Nathan was okay while we were gone. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for David’s family. They are so supportive and I knew that Nathan would be just fine while we were at the hospital. I truly thought that it was some mild allergy and that we would get a breathing treatment and be home in a few hours. I was once again very wrong.

As we drove to the hospital William’s condition deteriorated and he began having retractions, which is a breathing pattern that signals severe respiratory distress. That’s pretty much an emergency situation and we raced to the closest hospital instead of making the drive over the mountain to the children’s hospital. They shot us into the back and immediately started an albuterol breathing treatment. He began to cough like a barking seal so the doctor just assumed it was a case of the croup. William didn’t respond the the breathing treatment so they started another. We placed William on our chest while we were leaning back in the bed so that he was leaning forward. This was the only position that afforded him any relief and it appeared that perhaps things were getting better. The doctor discharged us but we didn’t even make it past the parking lot before William started having severe distress again and could barely swallow his saliva. We raced back in there knowing there was once again no time to make it to the children’s hopsital. This time the doctor ordered a racemic epinipherine breathing treatment and chest x-ray to see if he had perhaps aspirated something along with a soft tissue x-ray of his throat to check for swelling. He warned us that if the soft tissue x-ray came back abnormal it could possibly be a life threatening abscess developing in his throat and that they would be racing him to Kapiolani Children’s Hospital for surgery. We were all very concerned since William was hardly responding to the breathing treatments at all and things would just continue go from bad to worse.

After the x-rays, we went back to his bed and he seemed to be getting a little better and responding to the racemic epinepherine treatments. After about an hour, the doctor came back with bad news. The soft tissue x-ray came back looking as though there were some swelling in the throat indicating tracheitis or a possible abscess. Four different radiologists looked at the x-rays and all came to the same conclusion – an emergency CT scan. I absolutely freaked out. I was upset about just the x-rays due to radiation exposure and now a CT scan. However, due to the severity of the situation and the unstable condition of William, we consented and allowed the scan.

This was one of the worst parts. William was so scared and I just wanted to pick him up and run. David and I felt so helpless. The look of fear in his eyes just about ripped my heart out. I’ll never forget it. Not to mention ensuring that he didn’t move was stressful for everyone in the room. From the doctor to the nurses to the scan operator, we all held our breath that William would remain still and we wouldn’t have to repeat the scan. Thankfully the scan took about 15 seconds and William did very well. There was a clap for all around success and we were wheeled back to our space in the ER and waited for the results as William got more breathing treatments due to continued respiratory distress. The doctor came back about an hour later saying it looked as though everything was ok and there was no abscess. However, William was looking worse and worse. He called the children’s hospital so we could be transferred there for additional help. There was no greater relief I felt than when the transport team came to take us via ambulance to the children’s hospital.

William was looking awful when the team arrived. By this time his fever had spiked to over 104 and he was beginning to have trouble breathing again. They gave him a Tylenol suppository, immediately began another breathing treatment and called the hospital to let the doctor know that William needed to go straight to intensive care. The transport team was so on top of it and took over everything. I felt so relieved to have people who dealt with a pediatric population and really trusted that they would get us to the hospital ok. By this time David had gone home to take care of Nathan so Anne could go to work and William and I headed to the children’s hospital by ourselves.

Once we got to our room, William was looking much better due to the Tylenol and the breathing treatment really starting to even things out. However, the doctors were very concerned and immediately put him on steroids and antibiotics since nobody really knew what was wrong. They started an IV and put a respiratory therapist right outside of our room in case of emergency. Sure enough, we needed the respiratory therapist very soon when William began having trouble breathing again. After about 2 hours the doctor came up and said that actually there was an area of concern on the CT scan. He said if things got any worse, William may need a breathing tube, another CT scan and surgery if there was actually an abscess. I knew we were in an emergency situation and just prayed that William would turn the corner for the better.

The next 24 hours was a waiting game that suddenly turned in our favor. Every three hours William was unable to breathe again after the breathing treatment wore off. He got his last breathing treatment around 8pm and we tried to get some sleep. Miraculously William never needed another breathing treatment again. He was suddenly able to breathe without distress and by the morning his lung sounds were clear, there was no fever and he was ready for breakfast after not being allowed to eat for more than 24 hours. The doctor came up and said that he was thrilled with William’s numbers and if things stayed as good as they were, we could even be discharged in the next day or two. William was feeling so much better that he began to want to get off the bed and roam around the ICU. Trying to keep a toddler in a bed while keeping his IV lines from getting tangled is a challenge I would not wish on anyone!

Finally, the case was transferred over to the doctor who was originally supposed to take over from the other hospital before the change of plans to stay in ICU. She came in and I immediately liked her. William’s lung sounds were still clear, no fever and he was even smiling and wanting to play. She said that she felt confident transferring him to the floor and giving the medications by mouth instead of IV. She said that the fact that David and I were nurses played a major role in her decision to let William be transferred to the floor and possibly even be discharged later that night if things continued to go well.

We were transferred to our new room where William was able to walk around and play. He was pretty much back to his old self just tired and visibly worn. He still had a nasty cough but at least he was breathing clearly. The doctor came back later that afternoon and said that we were ok to go home that evening and she trusted that we would bring him back if there was any distress at all. She even gave us a steroid to give him in case of emergency. The nurse came in and said that he was surprised William was so sick. He told us that the normal steroid dose for a child is 0.5-1.0mg per kilo of body weight and that William was so sick he needed 5mg kilo!

David was able to come and go during this entire time thanks to his family helping out with Nathan. Nathan got to spend the day with Uncle Fred the day before and then hung out with Uncle Eddie and Auntie Jeanelle that night. We were so lucky to have family around during this time. That evening, David and Nathan came to pick us up and we headed back to his sister’s house. We were, of course, paranoid the rest of the trip and stayed close to home to entire time except for William’s baptism on Saturday.

The baptism went very well and you would never have known William had been sick for the rest of our stay. He bounced right back to his usual self. After the baptism we came home so William could relax and David and I prepared for our last full day in Hawaii. On sunday we got to spend time hanging out with David’s family and just generally taking it easy. I was so happy to end everything on a good note and so grateful for William’s recovery.

Thankfully, our flight home was the complete opposite of our flight out. I didn’t give Nathan the dramamine and decided to risk the vomiting. He was an angel the entire flight. He slept for 2.5 hours and watched videos the last 2.5 hours. The flight ended up being extremely bumpy and Nathan did dry heave once but luckily there was no throwing up. We got home close to midnight and the boys were so wound up that we didn’t end up going to bed until close to 1:30am but that’s the price you pay for switching time zones!

Christmas Eve morning we took William to follow up with his regular pediatrician and she said that it appeared as though he had tracheitis in addition to the croup, which is why the turn around was so fast once the antibiotics were started. But luckily she gave William a clean bill of health and said that she was happy he was back to feeling good again.

We were so sad to leave this trip. Aside from William’s illness, the boys had such a fabulous time and it was so nice to be surrounded by love and support. Seeing the boys surrounded by that much family is a special experience. It was very hard to leave and say goodbye to everyone. Hawaii has become one of my favorite places as much for the people there as for it’s beauty. Let’s just hope that next time we all stay well and can actually take advantage of all Hawaii has to offer 🙂

Thanksgiving has become one of my favorite holidays. To have an entire day set aside purely to be thankful for what we have in our lives is a very special thing. The older I get, I find myself being less angry and instead becoming more reverent to all the gifts in my life. Even through very difficult times, there are always things to be thankful for. You may have to search deeply for them, but they’re always present.

Every year, I try to pick a charity to donate to. In 2011 David and I went to the toy store and bought toys to donate to a children’s hospital. In 2012, we bought toys for children who’s parents are in prison. This year it was money to help people in the Philippines. I also thought about trying to convince my dad to buy a whole heard of goats to donate to an entire village through some special program but I thought that was maybe a bit of a stretch. Next year dad!

Now I want to start bringing the kids on board. One lesson I really want to instill in them is to always be appreciative for what they have in their lives and find ways to help others who are less fortunate. So I have decided to start a new tradition with them… once they are old enough to understand. The tradition will change and adapt to their maturity level as they get older but I think I have found a good starting point. We will start with something simple that Nathan can understand at his age, which I am sure will be centered around toys. We will go to the toy store and Nathan will pick out one toy that he thinks is very special. Then we will take it to a children’s hospital, church, shelter, you name it and Nathan will hand it over. It’s very simple. As the years go by this will evolve to meet their level of understanding but I figured this was a good starting point. I hope to get them physically volunteering somehow in their free time when they are older but for now this will do.

I really want to teach my boys how to see everything they have to be thankful for and be inspired to give back to others. I am convinced it is a skill that needs to be nurtured from when they are young. We aren’t necessarily born with an innate ability to see these things. I am sure it will be met with groans and complaints but hopefully that will gradually diminish as they get older and are better able to understand. If you have found something that works for your family or have any tips of how to help the process along, I’d love to hear different ideas 🙂

This is one of the first years I haven’t had to tell myself to sit still and think of all the things I am thankful for just because it’s Thanksgiving. Instead, I notice that I’ve been developing a sight for it and am able to see it in everyday moments of my life. Even when I just want to crumble on the floor and quit, somehow it shines through even then. So this has been a very special Thanksgiving for me. Perhaps it comes with advancing age, maybe it’s through having kids or maybe just being humbled over and over again as I see ways I could have done things better. Either way, this holiday is taking on a whole new meaning for me and for that I am very… thankful!