I am so elated over Colin’s arrival. I don’t handle pregnancy well. It’s very hard on me phsycially and emotionally and I have never been able to connect during pregnancy so the flood of emotion that overcomes me immediately after delivery is always amazing. It’s like falling instantaneously in love and knowing it will last through eternity. Words will always fall short describing that experience.

David’s parents arrived in town on Friday the 12th and my water broke after we arrived home from the airport at about 3:30pm. This is pretty much exactly what happened with William’s birth excpet that my water broke when David went to pick them up from the airport while I stayed home. It’s an amazing coincidence!

I was sitting on the floor with William when it happened and then ran to the bathroom. Nathan followed me and I told him excitedly that baby Colin was going to be born and that dad and I had to go to the hospital now. Nathan’s face completely lit up and he was SO excited. He began to fly all around the house saying, “Baby Colin is coming!!!” It was very sweet and he wanted to come to the hospital so badly but I promised him that he could visit the next day and that seemed to help calm him a bit.

I wasn’t having any contractions after my water broke and was worried that the labor would go similarly to William’s in that it would start and stop, contractions would be irregular resulting in problems with the baby’s heart rate, etc. Because of my experience with William, the drive to the hospital was filled with a bit of anxiety. I had been to the doctor that morning and was not dilated at all so my mind started running away with all the interventions that may need to be done to get things going. Every now and then I’d have a painless tightening type of contraction but no sign of real labor other than my water breaking.

As with William’s birth, my doctor was already at the hospital due to another patient needing to be induced so he was there to check things out as soon as we arrived. I was 2cm dilated and contracting regularly every 3-5 minutes even though I could hardly register them. He told me I didn’t need to be hooked up to the monitor the entire time and was free to walk around. Then he turned to the nurse and said, “I am 10 minutes away, but I would appreciate more than 10 minutes notice before I need to be here.” We all laughed but little did I know that was a major foreshadowing of what was to come! So after 20 minutes of monitoring, they unhooked me and I spent the next several hours walking around the room or standing next to the bed when they would hook me back up for 20 minutes to see how things were looking.

I was filled with excited anticipation. Contractions stayed painless for the next three hours until about 6pm. That’s when things began to pick up. I was contracting regularly ever 2-3 minutes and they were starting to get more intense. Colin’s heart rate was beautiful the entire labor so I was very relieved to not have that anxiety hanging over me while I worked through the contractions.

By 8:00ish, I was in the full swing of things. I do not labor silently. I make a lot of low, painful moaning sounds if that makes any sense. I clung to David for support and he was such an amazingly calm and soothing presence. With my arms wrapped around his neck and my head buried against his side, he helped me stand (for some reason I was terrified to sit or lie down). After every contraction I was so exhausted that I would almost doze against David for 30-60 seconds until the next one came. When the nurse came in to check on me, she asked to check my cervix to see how things were progressing since I was obviously struggling. When she checked me, I was about 6cm. I knew at that moment if I declined an epidural, I was basically deciding to do the entire thing naturally. I had a feeling things would go very quickly and an epidural beyond that point would be too difficult. I thought to myself that the contractions would likely get longer and closer together but perhaps the pain of each one would not increase, so I turned down the epidural and decided to go for it.

After about 50 minutes the nurse came back in. She could hear me all the way down the hall. I wasn’t screaming but the more painful the contractions became, the higher pitched and louder I became.

“I need to check you immediately,” she said.

I was in so much pain that I was no longer able to comply or respond rationally to anything being asked of me. She and David helped me into bed and I was 9cm.

The nurse flew out of the room and began what I assume was a frantic attempt to get the doctor back to the hospital immediately. With an epidural, you can take your time but there is no telling a naturally laboring woman to hold on and wait for the doctor to push if she is fully dilated. Suddenly the room was full of people scrambling to get the room ready with a another doctor just in case I delivered before the 10 minutes it was going to take for my regular doctor to arrive. I could imagine my doctor’s horror when the nurse said he had 10 minutes or even less to get to the hospital!

As I said before, I no longer had any rational emotion or ability left in me. I was screaming at people not to touch me but not hearing or being able to respond to any of their requests. My doctor arrived just as I was about fully dilated and ready to go. I remember shouting don’t touch me repeatedly at him too. A usually very relaxed and mild mannered man, he suddenly dropped his voice a few octaves and said, “Listen now, we’re here to have a baby. I have to touch you!”

I really thought that without an epidural, I would know exactly when to push or my body would just start doing it instinctively but this was not the case. I couldn’t focus on anything so I relied on the doctor and nurse telling me exactly what to do. As soon as I started pushing, I stopped feeling the intense pain so much. But I could also tell I wasn’t pushing correctly. I kept trying every time a contraction came but wasn’t making any progress. Then suddenly, I felt the progress. I think I had the baby out in three pushes once I got to that point. Colin was born at 10:03pm 🙂

Relief was immediate. They put Colin on my chest and the doctor exclaimed in surprise, “He’s huge! Much bigger than your other two!” I had been measuring a bit small during my prenatal visits so this was a big surprise for all of us. He looked so healthy and solid. David, Colin and I spent the next few hours resting with each other and getting to know the newest member of our family. It was amazing. I could not take my eyes off of him. Will I have a natural birth again? Never in a trillion years. I am all about getting an epidural next time! But we made it through and in the end, the only thing that matters is a healthy mom and baby.

I now know that there is nothing on earth that makes me happier than having a baby. I feel happiest and most at peace when I have a newborn in my arms. Nothing has ever made me feel more complete and fulfilled than holding my babies and watching my family grow. So welcome to the world, Colin. You are loved, celebrated, and cherished by us all.