I’ve come to realize something lately and it’s very simple – I am a creative being. I have been working out the left side of my brain for a very long time. I’ve done marvelously at it; acing every physiology, anatomy, pharmacology, pathophysiology, etc class I’ve ever taken. I achieved a deep sense of satisfaction with every A I got. But it was not a peaceful satisfaction. Rather it was the type of satisfaction I imagine a boxer feels when he lands himself a knockout – an “I’ll show you!” type of satisfaction. Perhaps it stems from performing so horribly throughout my entire elementary, middle, and high school years. Perhaps it was from the hidden defeat I felt at seeing others achieve academic success when I had resigned myself to complete indifference, aversion, and distain for any type of schooling. Who knows? But I’ve reached a point in my life where I can safely say “mission accomplished.” I did it. I proved wasn’t stupid. But there has been something sorely missing. While I was busy – or not busy – at nearly failing most of my classes in high school, I was furiously writing. I wrote poetry, essays, short stories, anything I could think of. I would write on paper bags at work or takeout menus or napkins when I could find nothing else to write on. I would stay up until 4 or 5am writing with purpose and passion almost every single night. It came effortlessly through me and I completely surrendered to it. Then suddenly, for reasons unknown, I stopped. That creative muscle slowly began to atrophy over the years until whatever life force I had, fell asleep. But lately it has been knocking on the door again. I make terrible grammatical errors, spelling mistakes (thank you spell check!), and have little patience for proofreading – but it’s back on my doorstep again. I’ve decided that instead of dismissing it as useless or a waste of time that could otherwise be productive, I am going to honor it. I invite creativity back in! Perhaps it will be a short visit, but I hope not. I realize I’ve missed far more of myself than I am comfortable with. So bear with me. It’s a muscle that I hope to keep working out with consistency and dedication. I will also be learning to play piano again (something I’ve also sorely missed) and taking a photography class at a local photography school in January as well as the creative writing classes I am signing up for. I have no agenda other than to say hello to myself again and hopefully, if I am lucky, connect with others. I am so excited I can barely stand it.