Smooth sailing… so far.  I’ve been reading the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown over the past… well… 2 months.  It takes me a long time to finish a book!  But it’s a wonderful book about vulnerability and the courage of “showing up” and living bravely in the face of insecurity, doubt, and the voices in our heads that like to convince us we are not enough.  One of the things she discusses is called “vulnerability armory,” which is ways we try to get around our vulnerabilities and the defenses that take us down the road of disconnection and self-protection.  Foreboding Joy is one such defense.  It’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop or to assume that because things are going well, then something terrible must surely be around the corner to ruin it for us.  We do this because the vulnerability we feel when we are truly happy and the fear that creeps in when we think of the sadness or disappointment we would most surely experience if something happened to take our joy and happiness away, would be crushing.  So as self-protection, we brace ourselves as a type of anticipatory grieving.  It’s an insurance for in case something catastrophic does actually happen, we won’t feel as crushed by it.

I never realized how much I did this until I read her book.  Even now, I am aware of my tendency to want to brace myself for something awful to happen and ruin the relative calm we’ve been experiencing.  Nathan is doing well in school, William is happy and thriving, and Colin is growing up as healthy and mischievous as ever.  I catch myself multiple times a day thinking of how short this is going to last and how I should try to relish the obviously naïve state I am existing in since this won’t last.  And while it’s true that things are constantly changing and in reality, this will change too, there’s no need to be bracing myself.  I should just enjoy the moment for what it is.  We never know how long we have on this planet and I want to feel happiness as it should be felt.  Freely, wholly, unapologetically.

David has been working every other weekend lately, so when we all have off together, we try to take advantage of it.  Saturday we went to the zoo to walk around and watch all the amazing peacocks with their beautiful feathers on display.  Peacocks are my favorite bird and I never get tired of seeing them.

Then we went to Nathan’s first ever baseball game.  It is with a special league where all the kids get a buddy to help them through the game and we thought this would be a wonderful way to introduce him to the sport.  He loved it so much (which is a far cry from soccer) and has been practicing with William in the afternoons.  If the boys can find a sport they love, then I am thrilled.  I don’t really care what it is as long as it’s something!  I think sports is a great way to teach kids self-discipline and motivation among many other things.  I hated playing sports when I was in school but thankfully I had theater, dance, and music to replace it.  David on the other had was/is extremely athletic so this is all right up his alley.

William plays soccer at school but he is still too young to enroll in neighborhood leagues like soccer, football, baseball, or basketball.  He wants to play so badly and I am so excited for the time is he old enough to sign up!

Colin had a great time chasing his brothers around before the game and I can tell he is going to really love sports too, much like William and his Dad!

And lastly we put my diploma in a frame to hang up next to David’s.  It was a long time coming but I am thrilled to finally close that door… for now!

March was definitely a busy and full month!  Truthfully, there has been so much going on that the thought of sitting down to write about everything was just too much, so I’ll just loosely summarize.

We went to the rodeo, Dallas, bought two mice, and Nathan started a new school all in just 2 weeks.  The end.

Just kidding!  I’ll go into slightly more detail than that 😉  A few Wednesdays ago, we went to the Austin Rodeo/Carnival for the entire day.  When I say the entire day, I mean 10 whole hours!  I was convinced that we would take a break and leave about mid-day before the Rodeo started but we plowed through and managed to stay for the entire time without any meltdowns, hysterics, crying, or whining!  It was a blast and we bought the boys their first cowboy hats to celebrate 🙂

The next day we headed to Dallas for a couple of nights so that I could attend a conference on home education.  The trip was a bit of a nightmare.  It turns out that we can handle 10 hours at a fair/rodeo but 3 hours in a car pushes us all over the edge.  There were a few highlights like David getting to have lunch with a fellow UCLA MBA alumni and visiting the stockyards for the kids, but that was about it.  The rest of it was just a matter of survival.  And it turns out that I really do detest big cities.  All big cities.  I couldn’t wait to get back home!

Nathan began asking for a pet mouse a little while ago and I thought that it would be good for both him and William to have a pet since we don’t want to get a dog until we buy a house.  Things were going along great until Speedy (Nathan’s mouse) began picking on ‘W’ (William’s mouse) and we had to go out and buy a separate cage so they could each have their own space.  I must say that W is much improved after not having to deal with being terrorized by Speedy all the time.  He now looks chipper and happy as opposed to stressed and exhausted!

And lastly, even though I loved the idea of homeschooling, it just wasn’t working for Nathan.  But I am thrilled to say we found a fantastic private school that has an entirely different approach to education.  The classes are small, kids work at their own pace, ABA and behavioral principles are built into the teaching and curriculum, and it goes year round without summers off.  We just started this week and I feel beyond blessed to have found such a perfect fit for him!
Now I can say it.  The End.

We’ve had a busy couple of days this weekend! Saturday we headed out on our first road trip and went to the San Antonio Zoo. It’s only 1.5 hours away so it’s an easy drive and the weather was amazingly beautiful! After an initial grumpy and impatient spell with Nathan, the whole day went as well as it possibly can with three rambunctious boys and a crowded zoo. In fact, we were all feeling so chipper that we decided to check out the River Walk, which proved to be a massive mistake. It was absurdly busy and chaotic and proved to me once again that I am definitely NOT a city person and in no way shape or form miss the hustle and bustle of that type of environment. I was thrilled to get out of there and head back home!

Sunday we went to the Zilker Park Kite Festival to check it out and I am SO happy we did. We brought our dragon kite from Costco that Nathan pleaded for the week before and were thrilled to discover that it was the absolute perfect day to fly a kite. It was windy, but not too windy and warm, but not too warm. Apparently the year before it was in the 40’s and wet, which would not have been the best experience. There were thousands of people there but it didn’t feel suffocating because we were all outside in such a massive space. There was music and food and families all over the place and hundreds of kites flying in the air. As you can imagine, kites were constantly bumping into each other and strings were getting tangled up and twisted but nobody cared since the whole crowd was having so much fun. People brought blankets and picnics and their dogs and there were contests, races, and everything else you could think of. Overall, just an awesome day!

To top it off, signs of Spring were everywhere this weekend. The leaves are slowly coming on the trees and wildflowers are blooming all over the place. It has been ages since I’ve experienced a true Spring and I had no idea how starved I’ve been for it. Spring in Texas isn’t as dramatic as it is in Virginia, but it’s far more than anything I’ve had in the almost 10 years I spent in LA. And I’ve come to learn that nothing beats a true Spring. Absolutely nothing.