I can’t believe summer is drawing to a close.  It was rather a mixed bag this year but I still feel like I’m not ready for the hectic back-to-school and work schedules to begin.  I managed to survive my six weeks of radiation in fairly good shape.  Yes, I was tired but the fact I had to drive 30 minutes to and from treatment every day (Monday – Friday) all while swim team practice was going on was the real pain.  The treatment itself was painless and short, although overall still unpleasant in terms of a big machine moving into and out of my personal space.  For the final session, I brought two of my boys with me and they got to throw confetti in my face as I came out of the room – a big selling point!   It was a great feeling to complete that phase of treatment and have our schedule open up and become much more relaxed again. 

A few weeks ago, I started working with a holistic doctor that specializes in cancer recovery.  She put me on a baseline nutrition/exercise plan while we are waiting for lots of lab work and testing to come back.  I already feel so much better as far as my energy goes.  It was fairly eye-opening to see how deficient I was nutritionally.  As we get results from my testing back, we’ll hone in and customize the plan more and more, adding supplements if safe and needed

A couple of weeks ago I managed to sneak away to LA for a couple of days to visit my dad, which was a real treat.  We went to the theater, ate out, and just generally relaxed before I returned home and had to start back at work again.  I must admit that returning to Texas was a bit of a slap in the face as far as how busy life is going to get again.  I don’t do well with full schedules, homework, waking up at the crack of dawn to get everyone out the door, all while trying to work and keep my sanity.  Even when we simplify, the very nature of working while having four kids is very difficult.  If it were up to me, we’d leave the suburbs, live on a farm and home school!

Having cancer has really put my priorities into perspective.  My time is precious and I don’t want to waste it on things that drain me or don’t bring me peace and fulfilment.  Because of this, I’ve decided not to return to school to continue my masters.  I have zero desire to return and I know I’m making the best decision for myself and family at this time.  It is simply too much on my shoulders to realistically manage.  Thankfully I was not that far into the requirements so it’s no real loss and I’ve felt a lot lighter since making the decision.  If I take any classes at all, I’d like to relearn how to play piano or take another writing class, or study classical music, even perhaps get involved in theater again, etc.  Certainly not anything related to nursing.  I want to get as far away from that as possible.

Tomorrow, I start my oral cancer medications, and I’ve got to say there’s a bit of anxiety attached to this.  It turns out my monthly injection isn’t that that bad.  The big needle isn’t very painful and it’s quick.  I put either ice or numbing cream on the area first so that helps.  There’s one other injection I get every six months I believe and then the two oral pills I start tomorrow.  I was also worried that I’d have to go off of one of my bipolar medications but it turns out all we need to do is adjust the dose so the plasma level is consistent on the new med, which hopefully goes smoothly once I get into the swing of things.  I have a big feeling of loss with starting these new meds for some reason.  Perhaps it is the unknowns of how they will make me feel.  Maybe it’s the uncertainty of how long I’ll have to take them exactly (I know 3 years at least) and then what follows from there?  Then there’s the fact that taking them makes me feel like a cancer patient all over again when all I want to do is put this behind me and move on with my new post-cancer life.  I’m feeling pretty good right now and don’t want to disrupt how I’m physically feeling these days.  I am hoping my new exercise and nutrition regime will help soothe any bad side effects I may have from it.  I will let you know how it goes.

I think that about catches you up!  I didn’t take that many pictures this summer unfortunately but here are a couple!